My sister is an amazing mother. No one plans on having a baby with...I'm not sure what word to use here. "Special needs?" I don't like it, it sounds too PC or something, but I don't know how else to phrase it so...No mother plans on having a baby with special needs. But sadly, it happens I don't know how many times every day. And sometimes the parents of these babies have a chance to prepare, but sometimes the problem goes undetected for days, weeks, months. And then the world turns upside down. And those mothers can feel the dreams they nurtured while growing their children slipping away. The future becomes more abstract, and the only thing that matters is this moment, this struggle, this (occasional) victory.
My sister was in a situation like that. She has been through more than I can imagine surviving. But she did much more than survive. She is raising a wonderful little boy. I feel blessed to know my nephew, and to have been a witness of God's plan that is so evident in his life. While God's hand can't be denied in his recovery, my sister gets a lot of the credit, too. It's awesome to see all of those things that used to annoy me when we were young (her unwavering resolve, her inability to ignore a mess, her love of a schedule...) being used to benefit her family. She never fails to make me laugh, but she is also there for me whenever I need her. I don't want to sound too much like the older sister, but I am so proud of her. I am looking forward to watching my little neffy-poo grow, and seeing my sister continue to handle each new phase with grace and strength.

Today I'm trying to get my house clean and my laundry under control. Having a child in school can really wear a mom out. I don't respond well to schedules, and even worse when someone else's schedule is imposed upon me. Trying to fit everything into the time allotted me by the Department of Education is really taking it's toll. For instance: We eat lunch at about 1:00 and I have to get to the school at about 2:30. It takes the Bug an average of 12 minutes per bite of sandwich (which is a different post all together). Meaning all errands and housework have to be done in the morning, after I get home from dropping Levi at school and after Cora eats breakfast (again, accounting for her unnaturally long consumption time) but before lunch. Trying to schedule it all so that I can optimize my time is making my head hurt. So, instead of getting work done, I think I'll blog about it.

For the next two days I will be carving with my very favorite medium. I love starting with a big (yummy) rectangle made of flour and butter and sugar and watching it turn into something else. Today, that something else will be a firetruck. A vintage firetruck. A vintage chocolate and buttercream firetruck. Tomorrow I will be turning a few round tiers into a castle fit for a princess. And a carriage. And an extra 6 inch tall three tiered cake so the birthday girl has a cake of her very own. I might be up a little late the next few nights. Trying to be a mom and a decorator only occasionally goes together. Although, I think it must seem like magic to the kids, finding completed creations in the refrigerator when the night before it was just bare cake. (And I do let them eat the scraps, so don't feel bad for them) If I'm ever not sure if something I've made is any good, I let them look at it and automatically feel better about my skills. So, if you have the same standards as a four or five-year-old, I'm am the baker for you.

I am feeling like I am in two places today. A big part of me is in a kindergarten classroom at Cartoogechaye Elementary this morning. My little Leavesy started school today and couldn't be happier; that's an understatement. When I woke him up this morning he said, "First day of school!" and bounded out of his top bunk. He was ready for me to leave him long before I was ready to go. I can't really figure out why this is so hard for me. I always loved school, and I know he will, too. He is a curious little boy (who recently asked me if bones are rigid, and if they are, how do we bend our arms and fingers...) and I think he will do really well in school, but I find myself clinging a little. Maybe it's partly because I got left on the playground my first day of kindergarten and was still wandering the school when my mom came to get me. Although, my son's sense of direction is already better than mine. Maybe it's because I can't help but think ahead to next year, when it will be the Bug who starts kindergarten. I knew these days were coming, but they snuck up on me. I am grateful for all of the time I got to spend with them at home and I'm really trying to be excited about this next stage we're going through.

Hello

So, I've decided to start a blog. And already I have writer's block...